So what is it ladies? I know you girls get approached alot, but how should one go about it? Or not go about it? Any advice? Because i always find myself passing up opportunities in fear of getting rejected from saying the wrong thing. And i want to stand out and go about it creatively.
So how would your girls prefer we guys went about it?
They want you to be real about your intentions and your feelings. If you lie to them or fake something they will think your pathetic. If you are upfront about what you want and they don’t want the same thing then it’s nothing to worry about and if they do want the same thing, then awesome!
Why does it have to be about what she wants? What if you don’t like her and you just won’t match? You can’t know that until you talk to them now can you?
Go up to them and talk to them like they are human, or someone you want to meet. Here is my pick up line for you. “Hi, I’m Kyle, how are you? :)”. I let my personality stand out and not my pick up lines. If they don’t like me, or I don’t like them, oh well.
@rattailbaby, Be yourself man, if you gotta come up with some awkward way of approaching girls just to attract them, then you’re doing it all wrong.
The main problem with your anxiety is that you are thinking way ahead of yourself, you immediately think about what could happen and eventually your natural instinct is to avoid embarrassment. Why has everyone forgotten about the word “HELLO” when it comes to approaching girls. Start with that, say hello..go in with no intention, two human beings meeting each other for the first time. If that hello turns to “My name is….” then turns into “How’s your night going?” Then turns into more and more, then you know you hit it off. If you say Hello and she brushes you off or her body turns away from you, then move on.
Like I said, just go with it. All you need to do is start, all you need to do is open the door, then you will discover what is on the other side. Don’t start guessing what is there, especially if it immediately turns to negative thoughts.
@rattailbaby, as a girl, I can honestly say we sometimes don’t know what we want. But we do need to be appreciated. Appreciate the nice things we do for you. Appreciate us dressing up. Appreciate us sometimes putting up with a lot crap. Just appreciate.
And since not all girls are the same, you can’t approach them all the same. She’s a person, get to know her first.
“What does the other sex want? Tell me how to be.” – Lots of people
It’s this type of thinking you want to get rid of. If you’re willing to “change yourself” (it will only be temporary change, anyway) to please someone else, then you’re living for someone else, not yourself. You gotta love who you are first.
@luigiblue, You’re right. I know Im just over thinking it, and a simple ‘Hello’ would most likely work, but i was trying to go for something more rememberable, but maybe if i don’t think about it so hard something creative will come to me. I think the trick is to, as soon as you see a girl you want to approach go without thinking. lol thanks for the advice man.
@kyle, ”I let my personality stand out and not my pick up lines. If they don’t like me, or I don’t like them, oh well. ” That is well said, but I will be honest – personally I love great pickup lines. Not cheasy, but just interesting. I simply find it hard to have small talks with people I don’t know. Actually I hate doing it, so an interesting pick up line that could open up a different conversation is a great idea.
It’s true that we don’t know what we want. Maybe the only thing we are sure about is that we want connection, so all you can do is be yourself and just talk to them. Actually I find it hard to do too, but that IS the truth.
Everyone wants permission to impulsively express themselves.
@chodebalm, @15234l, @the1paula, I wanted some advice on rememberable ways to go about breaking the ice because i know you have to win a girls interest, and leave her thinking, you cant just go about like every other guy and expect to be remembered. I know i should be myself and everything, but i was asking how girls would prefer us guys going about it. We guys could all use some advice on this subject lol @kyle,
@rattailbaby, Honestly, I’ve been through that stage before. Where you want the girl you notice you and remember you as this big significant being of the night. To me now, that seems desperate and needy….not to mention unoriginal. She will remember you even more if you were your complete self. Someone like no one else, someone who isn’t there to be like the rest of the guys. You said it yourself, they most likely get hit on and approached a lot during the night. Now imagine you being the 10th guy, wouldn’t it be a relief for the girl if someone real and honest and true to themselves approached them? You think she wants that needy guy that wants her attention by trying to hard?
@rattailbaby, This how I prefer to be approached, but I can’t speak for the entire female population…
Guy: “Hello! What’s your name?”
Girl: (she’ll probably know instantly if she’s interested, if she’s not move on, don’t waste your time) (If she is interested, she will give her name and ask yours)
Guy: (give a genuine compliment, then try to find some similar interests to spark up a great conversation. Keep eye contact, smile, and some light touching on the shoulders or something.) (always be confident (not cocky))
Hope this helps…
@rattailbaby, I always feel like i am saying something wrong when it comes to ‘texting’. I hate texting when the girl stops replying. It sucks. Texting should have never been invented! It ruined going up to girls.
Anyways, before i get off topic. I agree with @luigiblue, ” Start with that, say hello..go in with no intention, two human beings meeting each other for the first time. If that hello turns to “My name is….” then turns into “How’s your night going?” Then turns into more and more, then you know you hit it off. If you say Hello and she brushes you off or her body turns away from you, then move on. ”
You are going to get rejected and maybe one girl will like you, you just gotta go through many till you find her. Would you rather never try OR try and many times get rejected but at the end of the night… gon’ get laid! oooohhh yeaaahhh!
@whiteblueberry, You’re exatly right.
@luigiblue, Knows how it is. You have way to much intention built behind talking to girls man. Your main intention if you want to “pick up” (yuck I just said that) is to have a good time. If you’re having fun then just continue by trying to have fun by getting to know new people. If you want a girlfriend, why are you trying? I didn’t get to choose the day I met all my friends and family, it just happen and that’s how it will be with a girlfriend.
Your personality is what will be remembered. Not the opening line. You don’t have to win shit man. It’s not like that. If a girls not interested in you, move on, because changing yourself to fit what they want is actually not what they want.
@rattailbaby, i’m not a girl but i’ve spent a lot of time researching attraction. I’ve found what works best is not some kind of magic line or routine, there is no such thing. That’s why a lot of guys get it wrong and are awkward, because they are looking in all the wrong places.
The answer is you have to look at you. You have to be your best self, you have to show some self respect physically (this does not mean you have to be shallow, or wear expensive clothes or Rolexes and whatnot – it means get a little excercise, be clean, and wear clean laundry), and you have to know yourself personality wise. You can’t be genuine if you are hiding behind an act, you can’t get too far on a lie, you can’t build anything worthwhile on a crappy foundation. Don’t tell them you are interested in things you are not, or do things to try to get girls and not because you really like the activity. All you’ll succeed in doing is having a bad time that way. You should definitely be honest, but don’t be a downer. Don’t be a drainer of energy.
You have to build yourself up into someone that you like first, before you can expect any girls to like you. It’s like magnets, you pull people to you, not going fishing for them.
In every way possible. Honest to yourself, honest in your words, honest in your approach, honest in your thoughts and opinions. An honest person is naturally more receptive to the feelings of others as well. It helps in being a good father/mother, brother/sister, friend, significant other, boss/employee, leader/follower, absolutely everything.
Honesty is possibly the golden virtue. With it all other virtues and strengths are magnified.
@rattailbaby, Who “I” am?
This talks bout it.. read on.. it gets interesting you won’t be able to stop reading.