What is success to you?

harmlessuntruths (@harmlessuntruths) 8 years, 3 months ago

My parents taught me that being successful was growing up, getting married, and living in a big house. I don’t see the correlation… I understand that they want me to have a comfortable life, but I don’t think I will ever feel complete doing just that. I want to travel and see the world. Even though I sometimes depressed when I think about my lack of social relationships in my life, it might be because I’m too scared to commit to one. This happens with friendships and dating. So there’s that…and the fact that I only like people who don’t like me back. If someone I had a crush on showed me even the least bit of attention, I would try to make up an excuse for why the attention was negative. I twist words and interactions in every possible way until I have convinced myself that the person hates me. If you hate yourself, how can you expect others to like you? I sometimes wonder if I would be different socially if I grew up in another culture. That is why I love to travel. It opens my eyes to so many new points of view.
There is so much beauty in the world that so many people don’t have a desire to see – do they not find beauty valuable? When I am able to travel, I feel like my mind becomes much more open to new ideas, maybe because of the cultural differences. I have never been able to understand why someone would want to stay in one place. Sometimes I crave a nomadic lifestyle where I could go anywhere and do anything I thought would better myself, but I’m in college…and to be honest, I’m too scared to leave for fear of being unsuccessful. And is college really even worth it? or is it a scam to get people to conform to a strict plan of the way their life will play out over time?

October 15, 2013 at 12:28 am
EFW (57) (@EarthFireWater) 8 years, 3 months ago ago

@harmlessuntruths, Success to me is having 100% control over your own destiny (life), by breaking from the shackles of normality. Everyday we are alive we are indoctrinated into a set of circumstances which most people call life. The education, the debt, the 9-5 job, the house, the car, the bills, the tax, the food, the entertainment, the holidays, the sex, the kids, the birthdays. All social constructions and all controlling the way you live.

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harmlessuntruths (1) (@harmlessuntruths) 8 years, 3 months ago ago

@earthfirewater,Do you think these social constructions are all bad?

I’ve always told myself I didn’t like them, but recently I have become conflicted because I want respect from society. And to get respect from society you have to follow social norms. Right now, I feel like I need them to be happy because I’m scared of what I’ll be left with nothing to live for.

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EFW (57) (@EarthFireWater) 8 years, 3 months ago ago

@harmlessuntruths, ‘I feel like I need them to be happy because I’m scared of what I’ll be left with nothing to live for’

So your entire existence is determined by what society dictates it should be? We as a society define what respect means in terms of social constructs and the respect we are trying to attain. Therefore we can redefine it.

You are the maker of your own life, you attribute value and respect to the actions you perpetrate. Nobody else opinion should be of any consequence.

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Chris (4) (@ThatGuyRitchie) 8 years, 3 months ago ago

@harmlessuntruths, Success is different for everyone and only you can decide what that means to you. I’ll refer to my favorite quote on the topic from Emerson:

“To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one’s self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived—this is to have succeeded”

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Scarlet Wall-flower (14) (@stick2skript) 8 years, 3 months ago ago

@harmlessuntruths, i want to travel. Im fasinated by others lives. I want ro know what its like else where. I would write a book about my travels and name it “wheres eden?” As i would be searching for a safe, beautiful, and happy place. Family is kind of out of the quesrion for me, how ever. But if i were to travel i would bring some one with me. An adopted child, a woman, a man…i dont know. I would share the world and my perspective with them. Bequeth wisdom.
Success is how happy you are.

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MonkeyZazu (1,865)M (@monkeyzazu) 8 years, 3 months ago ago

@harmlessuntruths,

No one can guarantee you tomorrow, the same way no one can guarantee you success.

If you finish college what guarantee do you have that you’ll be successful? Does life guarantee that you will successfully find its meaning and your own purpose by going to school? 1. We give life meaning. 2. We define our own purpose.

Success is relative to the person because each individual has their own goals. Success is found in reaching those goals. If going to college isn’t helping you to reach your goals, and if you not using any of the information or resources you get from college, then its pointless. Getting a degree would then be like getting a fancy new car and just leaving it in the garage all day. Not only are you not using it, but it has a ton of finances and monthly payments attached to it. You’d be paying a lot of money, going into debt for nothing.

The “norm”, the leading paradigm is that having a job where you get paid a lot of money and have the ability to buy what ever you want or need, will make you successful. That’s nonsense. People don’t want money in and of itself. They want the things money buys them. But what if the things you want can’t be bought? The money that would come with that job you would get from having that college degree, which isn’t and can’t be guaranteed, would mean nothing.

It’s like being a caged bird, ya kno? All you wanna do is fly, but you find yourself constricted to living life in a cage, a cage with bars made out of social constructs, fear and disbelief. Kinda reminds me of this one quote from the movie Waking Life, “It’s bad enough that you sell your waking life for minimum wage, but now they get your dreams for free.”

People think they need so much in order to reach their goals and do the things they wanna do, but they don’t. The only thing you need in order to do anything is the will to do it. Once you have the will to do something and put yourself in that mindset of actually going about doing it, you’ll start to make miracles happen. By miracles I mean things that you didn’t think were possible with your limited abundance.

Moral of the story, define your own goals and work towards manifesting them into this reality. Even if you don’t reach them all you will still find success and fulfillment in knowing that you worked towards and tried to reach them, instead of just letting them rot away in your head.

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Ben (62) (@Mallorn) 8 years, 3 months ago ago

im in pretty much constant physical pain so for me success is being alive…that’ll get you to stop thinking college is so important

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TheSkaFish (962)M (@theskafish) 8 years, 3 months ago ago

@harmlessuntruths, to me success is being who you want to be, in the place you want to be, doing something you want to do. When you have reached the point where there is no one you’d rather be than you, where you would not trade places with anyone, no matter if they are a rock star, athlete, actor/actress, whatever. Success to me is getting what you want. It does not necessarily mean being a big-timer, if an ordinary job, house, car, marriage, 2.5 kids and a picket fence is what you want most in the world, then by all means go for it. But only if it is what you truly want. As far as can be proven we get one life, one shot at happiness, consciousness, and existence – all notions of the afterlife or reincarnation are pure speculation, I would not count on it. So that is why I would say a person’s utmost duty is to know what they want and get it, and the sooner you do, the longer you get to enjoy it. A quote I found somewhere said, “discipline weighs ounces, regret weighs tons.” A successful person then, I’d say, would have no need for regret because they are living how they want to.

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stonedragon (143) (@stonedragon21) 8 years, 3 months ago ago

@theskafish, ah the skafish. you been around a long while on HE and it is great to hear your words of wisdom. i love what you just said. it fills me with inspiration tonite as i think … wow, my brother in america has 7 cars, two of them teslas, a private jet and a huge house, happily married to a millionaire, has four kids with white shining teeth and big smiles who finished colleges in expensive schools and have good jobs, and is what i consider sucessful
now talk about his sister, loser old me… i ran off to france and travelled the world, lived for years in the himalayas, my kids are mal adjusted, i live in an old broken down farmhouse with a leaking roof and am divorced and i am an artist and smoke pot. have 3 dogs and 3 cats and animal hair everywhere in my house. lots of weeds in my jardin.
in societys eye of course he is sucessful and i often feel bad thinking im not… but then according to you skafish,, im doing the only thing i can do… live and eat my own vegies and make art. and love the ones around me… and do my best…
so what does it matter in the end. who is to judge us except our own soul.
if you sleep well at nite!! and smile once in a while. and sit with your face in the sun or walk in the rain,, or crunch autumn leafs. and enjoy the small things in life.

i guess im loser, and im not always happy, but at least im transcending a lot.
IM ON THE PATH… SO WHAT IS SUCCESS ALL ABOUT. YOU TELL ME!!

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Faithflower (27) (@peacelove) 8 years, 3 months ago ago

@harmlessuntruths, keep asking myself the same things, now these days i just want to travel or feel alive in some extend..i think being succesfull is being happy with what you have and want and get…these things change over time really..lots of young people want to travel the world and be free and broaden their horizon, i think it is something of this time, when we all see things across the world and all over the place we want to visit and get to know all kinds of things..

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Anonymous (2,654) (@) 8 years, 3 months ago ago

Success is the realization you are too young to understand why the too-olds are crying. And being able cry because of their pain, and take comfort from the redemption of your own understanding to their never-ending normality.

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Seremonia (22) (@Seremonia) 8 years, 3 months ago ago

Having proven wisdom because of direct guidance from God.

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JonH (1,139)C (@IJesusChrist) 8 years, 3 months ago ago

HAVIN A HOT BITCH N A BITCHIN RIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

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Anonymous (2,654) (@) 8 years, 3 months ago ago
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