What is the most sophisticated way to tell someone off?

 dream-catcher (@Tiff)4 years, 11 months ago

Seeing as we live in a world filled with billions of people, chances are a few of them are going to be assholes! sadly I realize that I do not know how to productively tell someone off without stooping to their level.
so, I came across this person in life where I learned to trust, cared for, had feelings for and finally this was a person who I consider to be my friend. In the long run he hurt me emotionally and turned out to be a complete asshole. The situation is like this …. I did not feel like I was obligated to answer a question to a person who were being obnoxious so I said “ttyl” they constantly reinforce the question over and over again harassing me and then finally,he said, “Immature much little girl i guess your not capable of answering a simple question well u better go finish cutting that wrist”
I was speechless and I did not respond to this message at all ! I just could not believe that this person who I thought cared about my well being would even turn around and say this to me …. Please help I do not know what to do/ say to this person.

November 17, 2013 at 9:38 am
Bianca A (101) (@biancavila) 4 years, 11 months ago ago

@tiff, i feel like there isn’t a sophisticated way to tell someone off. that’s kind of an oxymoron to me.

don’t say anything. why would you? that’s a waste of your time. they have so much anger, the first step they need to take is to realize they are angry. and if you told them they were angry, they wouldn’t listen and get angrier. it’s not a personal attack on you; they are just an angry person.

so don’t say anything. because they aren’t willing to help themselves yet and you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves.

they didn’t care about your well-being because they were too selfish to be able to. and I don’t mean selfish in a negative way at all. what i mean by it is that they aren’t able to see past themselves right now. they have a lot of muddiness in their consciousness and their modes of perception which they need to sort out. they are not yet ready to care for other people – they just don’t know how to fully do that yet. they need to let go of all their anger and fill themselves with love before they can truly care for another. it’s really nothing personal. that’s just where there are in life.

so if you say anything to them at all, it should be that – to try and help them understand where their consciousness is right now and try and help them understand how angry they are so they can get out of it.

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Obviously, you’re not a golfer (605) (@donjaime23) 4 years, 11 months ago ago
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i4c1m2b (70) (@i4CiM2B) 4 years, 11 months ago ago

@tiff, My advice would be to say nothing at all. Don’t call, don’t text , don’t answer calls, don’t return calls or texts . Avoid , ignore from now and forever. You responding means he is controlling your emotions. Forgive + Forget = Freedom
IEven if you knew how to tell him off, he would’nt be paying attention. He will be too busy trying to think up clever ways to insult you, ridicule you, or hurt you. You thought he liked you when he was just using you. I feel your pain. Now let it go. If by chance he approaches you,and trys to start something , even to apologize . don’t be fooled again. If you feel you have to respond Just keep repeating “Do I know you?” or “I don’t know you” That is a very effective way to tell a person off.

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dream-catcher (135) (@Tiff) 4 years, 11 months ago ago

@briancavila, thank you for your response and helping me see a different angle of this situation but I just feel like I need to stand my ground

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dream-catcher (135) (@Tiff) 4 years, 11 months ago ago

@i4cim2b, you are totally right I am not going to let this horrible person to control my feelings anymore. People like him do not need to be in my life. Thank you.

@donjaime23, Thank you for the laughter, I needed it.

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Bianca A (101) (@biancavila) 4 years, 11 months ago ago

@tiff, why do you feel the need to tell them off?

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Yael Alonso (59) (@YaelAlonso) 4 years, 11 months ago ago

@tiff, Tell them to go fuck themselves and that you don’t want them to be a part of your life anymore. There is no sophisticated way to tell someone to fuck off. Wanting to tell someone to fuck off is a spiteful act, its not’s wrong, but if you need to get it off your chest, do it.

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dream-catcher (135) (@Tiff) 4 years, 11 months ago ago

@biancavila, well I guess, I am coming from a place where I am tired of people hurting me and having control over my emotions and I just need a way out to put a stop to all of this!

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phoebe (3) (@phunbie) 4 years, 11 months ago ago

@tiff, telling the person off won’t change anything,just ignore him….people get so mad when they are ignored,I know the plan is not to make him mad,but ignoring him is the best option,if you tell him off you’d still be unhappy and upset and that way he’s still in your head somehow. So forget about whatever he said and the next time he sends you a message dnt bother reading it just delete it.

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Yael Alonso (59) (@YaelAlonso) 4 years, 11 months ago ago

@tiff, Being sophisticated is over rated. It seems to me that you let him in to a part of yourself which hurts you, your self harm, and he basically undermined you by telling you to continue doing it. You deserve to be angry, so go and release that anger on him, not yourself, don’t let him control you, but don’t try to be sophisticated, you’ll have much more fun cursing him out, trust me. It won’t change your life, but it’ll get some stress off your chest.

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Bianca A (101) (@biancavila) 4 years, 11 months ago ago

@tiff, there are so many people out there who are still able to do similar things to you and mistreat you regardless of whether or not you tell off the person who has just mistreated you.

telling off people who have mistreated you in your past will only affect your past relationships and do nothing for your future relationships. it takes two to tango. a relationship is between two people. someone mistreated another is a result of the both of them allowing it to happen, and not always intentionally.

I only say this because I’ve been fucked over by over a dozen people. and the only reason why I was able to get past all of that and be in the peaceful and happy state that I am in now is because i learned not how to talk or associate with those people, but i learned how to point out those kind of people more suddenly and to avoid them. i just had to put someone on my blacklist for texts because he had mistreated me so many times and I knew that when he really really understood, he would come and find a way to apologize to me. I don’t care about him. why should i? He doesn’t care for me. he cannot give me anything i could want right now, so I don’t waste my time or energy on him. it’s so pointless. the problem isn’t mine. it’s his, so i’ll let him deal with it.

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Anonymous (107) (@) 4 years, 11 months ago ago

You have no business with people who think you suck.The best thing you can do for yourself is examine why their words play so well into your insecurities, and get the confidence to genuinely think they’re retarded.

Telling them off is not going to act as some course correction for their behavior. It will just feed the high they get from damaging other people’s self-concept.
@tiff,

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MonkeyZazu (1,865)M (@monkeyzazu) 4 years, 11 months ago ago

@tiff,

“Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.” – Plato

You don’t have to tell anyone off. You always have the choice to ignore them. If you do feel the need to say something, just be direct and logical. Sophistication isn’t needed for that. Acknowledge what’s actually happening – just some person expressing their subjective opinions in a louder than usual tone. That’s all. How you react to it is your own creation.

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Bopha Rose (1) (@supbopha) 4 years, 11 months ago ago

I agree with mostly everyone here, there’s no need to tell someone off. Even if they got the “last word,” you can either look at it as an illustration of their pettiness/pride or you can rack your brain for days on after, replaying scenarios in which you got the last bite.

As much as we’d like a comeback that burns once in awhile, I think the best thing is just to be the bigger person and walk away.

In the end, words are just words.

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David (0) (@David-HernandezLara) 1 year, 9 months ago ago

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David (0) (@David-HernandezLara) 1 year, 9 months ago ago

I see you suffer from cranial rectal syndrome or (crs).  Where you got your cranium lodged up your rectal cavity.  Which in some cases it goes as deep to your duodenum. In some cases it is temporary or often lifelong. I think you should seek professional help cause you exhibiting symptoms and need professional care immediately.  

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welltoobad (0) (@wellthatsjusthowitis) 8 months, 4 weeks ago ago

Hmm,well. Anger mostly amuses me,though i do have to say that when someone thinks you’ve angered/hurt etc them,you don’t get to say you didn’t. Simply because everyone has different capacity for…things.Brain included.

Personally,what happens is i simply stand and ponder questions like “i wonder this anger of theirs was due to other factors” or “bad day much?” SILENTLY in my mind while they vent. Since,honestly,i have nothing to lose. However,should you have to deal with a particularly stubborn asshole,then sarcasm like no other.

For example; “Immature much little girl i guess your not capable of answering a simple question well u better go finish cutting that wrist”

Like i said,i usually ignore,but if so feel inclined i would probably respond with “oh patience,darling,i’m trying to come up with the simplest terms of “how about no” for a 3 year old~” with the biggest smiling emoji i could find inserted there.

The most sophisticated way is to ignore,but sarcasm can be fun too ;D

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Anna (0) (@natureday) 8 months, 2 weeks ago ago

We attract everythign to ourselves every day, every hour.

Its so easy to blame someone else. I woudl tell your friend I got hurt- but I did it. I take the blame. Letting you off the hook. I am going to clean up my own mess and I am more powerful because of it.
​We are all one.

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