What martial art would Jesus do?

Nakedape (@nakedape) 9 years, 2 months ago

What are the ethics and morality in learning and practicing a martial art? Would an enlightened spiritual leader like Jesus, Buddha, Confucius etc even condone such a practice?

March 4, 2013 at 4:41 am
Anonymous (254) (@) 9 years, 2 months ago ago

“What are the ethics and morality in learning and practicing a martial art?”

The same as learning to cook, paint, dance etc?

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Anonymous (251) (@) 9 years, 2 months ago ago

@nakedape, Dude it’s kind of in the name. Martial ART. It’s an art, like everything. Do I think they’d be down with art. Yes.

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Matthew (1,127) (@ojai) 9 years, 2 months ago ago

@nakedape, Discipline, patience, bravery, confidence, endurance (both mental and physical).

I’d love to sparr Jesus. In the red corner! Weighing in at 160 pounds! From the pearly gates, fighting out of Jarusalem…..Jeeeeesuuuuus “THE HOLY TRINITTTTYYYYY” CHRIIIIISTTTTT!

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Anonymous (364) (@) 9 years, 2 months ago ago

Jesus would have mastered JEW-jitsu.

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Matthew (1,127) (@ojai) 9 years, 2 months ago ago

@piptherational, ZINGGGGG!!!!!!

Well, pip wins. Easily.

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Alex (345) (@staylucky) 9 years, 2 months ago ago

Jesus in the Octagon. That guy would be such a baller.

His powers would be more suited for wrestling though.

“Oh my, Ken! After that tumble off the turnbuckle Jesus seems to have Hangman all covered. OH AND WHAT’S THIS!? NO! OH KEN, I THINK JESUS IS GONNA GO FOR IT HERE! YES! IT’S HIS SIGNATURE “MAKE BELIEVE” SPECIAL! HANGMAN HAS NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON! HE SEEMS TO BE FALLING FOR ANYTHING RIGHT NOW!”

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Matthew (1,127) (@ojai) 9 years, 2 months ago ago

@staylucky, “all the Christ fans are going crazy! WHAT’S THIS? JESUS ISNT DONE YET! OWWWW HE just hit him with his signature move – ORIGINAL SIN! Well we heard nobody escapes original sin and I guess that point was proven here tonight, Jon!”

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Anonymous (251) (@) 9 years, 2 months ago ago

This thread is my favourite.

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Anonymous (272) (@) 9 years, 2 months ago ago

Judo is translated as “the gentle way”

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Dan (890) (@danfontaine) 9 years, 2 months ago ago

@ojai, just rofl

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Alex (345) (@staylucky) 9 years, 2 months ago ago

@ojai, Kudos, amigo. Kudos.

My mate and I used to spend hours stoned pretending to be old Scottish Premier League commentators while we were playing Fifa. Cannot even explain how fucking funny it was.

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Alex (551) (@hollowinfinity) 9 years, 2 months ago ago

Tai-Chi. If a religious leader can’t see the good in Tai-Chi- then they wouldn’t be a savior.

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Caleb McCoy (111) (@cjmccoy93) 9 years, 2 months ago ago

I think we all know Jesus was a water-bender

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Anonymous (86) (@) 9 years, 2 months ago ago

Krav maga. He was a Jew, after all.

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Stoney Baloney (614) (@adamm0ss) 9 years, 2 months ago ago

Carlos Ray “Chuck” Norris (born March 10, 1940)[1] is an American martial artist and actor. After serving in the United States Air Force, he began his rise to fame as a martial artist, and has since founded his own school, Chun Kuk Do.

Wikipedia.

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Anonymous (86) (@) 9 years, 2 months ago ago

@adamm0ss, Chuck Norris is a twit. I’m still leaning toward krav maga. :)

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Anonymous (130) (@) 9 years, 2 months ago ago

@nakedape, Judo.

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who (557) (@season) 9 years, 2 months ago ago

Akido, or “The Art of Laughing While Your Opponent lies on his back”

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TheSkaFish (962)M (@theskafish) 9 years ago ago

@nakedape, The art of the drunken master. Mostly just Jesus doing beer bongs with the Pope while driving around in the Popemobile blasting AC/DC.

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Ghostlight (38) (@imtheghostlight) 9 years ago ago

@nakedape, I think any work as long as they have a tao to go with it, and your intentions upon entering said martial art is not a vicious one. You also kind of have a realization at a point in training as well, where you realize exactly how damaging that this art can be to someone else, and should only be used if completely necessary. Have fun though, you’ll learn a lot about your body and your mind. :)

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Taylor (152) (@taysand) 9 years ago ago

@motorik, THOU SHALT GET DOWNNN

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