I am a girl that like to read psychology books and i always study different books of Famous psychologists , they say : if you think positive you will face positive things , i try it many times but it didn’t work. when i think positive about a subject it happens opposite means negative but when i think negative it happens positive. I want to know that my thoughts are wrong or psychologists are making fool. Hey guys please guide me i am getting confused what should i do ???
Well I wonder if you ask for more things in life too. Like do you if in a bad place, say broke, unemployed,drug/alcohol dependent out of love, ill,hurt,sad,depressed. Well Do you lean on any one of these every day of your life??? Although helpful lovingly simple living, you still cry ‘why me’ on a regular. That makes positive thinking any other time void of a visit to the ears of our universe. And vice versa. I seem to walk down the line of both in a calculated manner. I do this or I am this… I wake up every day to a whole new picture. I insist on love making , some cuddles and coffees, day is at our leisure with small tasks. Employment. Try to exercise any thoughts by action or telling someone/write. I actually enjoy watching people win, or two AFL teams scoring gets a cheer,,If I hear a sad story my mind goes to what I Cld or wld Do I share or don’t share, either way my sincere thoughts are spent on most things with no discrimination to subject. I’m just waking at the base of my spiritual steps to my planned place in the universe. Thanks for hearing me as I think I missed most of your plea. Sorry pet! Hey oi? Hug away yah day lovey x
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Hey @aalia, I realize this is an old post, but I hope my answer can still help you or others. It seems to me that you might be falling into a trap of Positive Psychology, uncovered by another psychologist, Gabriele Oettingen. In her controversial early research, she discovered that often, the people who engaged only in positive thinking and vividly imagined their goals as accomplished did experienced worse results than would be expected from the assumption that positive thinking leads to positive outcomes.
Over many years, she found out why: imagining your outcomes vividly as already accomplished took energy away from you, making you less likely to take the actions necessary to accomplish your goals. If your brain thinks a goal is already achieved, why would it invest energy in achieving it?
Next, she dealt with how to counteract this effect. She noticed that people who imagined their goals and outcomes and then contemplated the obstacles they would face while trying to achieve them not only didn’t experience the same sapping of energy, they were actually more likely to succeed! But this was only part of the answer.
She then partnered up with her husband, and together they devised a simple procedure for helping you achieve your goals more easily, called WOOP (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan). It involves (1) thinking of your wish, something that you care deeply about and believe you could accomplish, then (2) imagining the outcome vividly, either in writing or just in your mind, then (3) identifying an obstacle within you that might prevent you from achieving the goal (such as being lazy, or always snacking in between meals, etc.), and then (4) making an if-then plan for when you are tempted to act in the ‘bad’ way (for example, if my goal is to write an article and my obstacle is that, when I sit down to write, I worry that I have nothing good to say and go on Facebook instead, I could make the following plan: IF I sit down to write and start worrying that I have nothing good to say, THEN I will remind myself of all the times when my ideas were useful to other people, close all my other tabs, and begin jotting down possible topics for an article; of course this is a personal example, and you could apply this process to infinite different goals).
Their research has shown that this simple procedure helps you (1) achieve goals you believe are possible more easily (both in conscious and unconscious ways, which, for me, is super cool), and (2) let go of goals you believe are not possible for you, thereby conserving mental energy for those that actually are possible.
I highly encourage you to read more about this, for example on the website dedicated to this idea (http://woopmylife.org/) or (and this would be best) by picking up her book Rethinking Positive Thinking: Inside the New Science of Motivation (https://www.amazon.com/Rethinking-Positive-Thinking-Science-Motivation/dp/1617230235; or PM me if you’d like me to send you the ePub).
Good luck with your challenges!
psychologists are totally right. Though you should remember that you shuld not only wait for smth positive to happen, though you should DO smth to make it a positive action. Please influence on your life and what happens to you. Once you do so – you will meet positive things more frequently.
Omg, I thought I’m only one person in the world like that, cause everytime when i was sharing this problem, nobody understood or had something similar. It killed me!!! For example, i did a job that i knew i’ll get my comission from there at the end of the week as always and i did my plans where these money will be used at the day after they’ll be paid and guess what… Some shit happens and i needed to wait these money 1 or 2 weeks more. But when I dont think about them and dont make any plans, it shows up always on time, it’s like I’m destroying my life with every mind that comes up from my head. And so many more situation are happening like that, i just dont have where to focus my minds more, cause this is a big problem for me!
<body id=”cke_pastebin” data-cke-temp=”1″ class=”cke_editable” style=”position: absolute; top: -634px; width: 1px; height: 842px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; -webkit-user-select: text; left: -1000px;”>Omg, I thought I’m only one person in the world like that, cause everytime when i was sharing this problem, nobody understood or had something similar. It killed me!!! For example, i did a job that i knew i’ll get my comission from there at the end of the week as always and i did my plans where these money will be used at the day after they’ll be paid and guess what… Some shit happens and i needed to wait these money 1 or 2 weeks more. But when I dont think about them and dont make any plans, it shows up always on time, it’s like I’m destroying my life with every mind that comes up from my head. And so many more situation are happening like that, i just dont have where to focus my minds more, cause this is a big problem for me!</body>
Same thing for me too. And yes it happens because we overthink. But it is like my obsession. There is no one minute that I don’t think this subject. And I am relieved there are other People too. We don’t think we are powerfull to change situations. Because it always happens in the way that the opposite of what we think. this obsession never failed. I have one other obsession too. But this is different. If so many People start to give their minds to this subject I am sure they will stuck in the same situation. (and because of this obsession I am never sure about anything actually. I always need to remember and control eveeything but when you try like that it never happens) . The only cure is that not thinking. But it is Hard obviously because it is an obsession.
This post is so old. If you realized that you have the same problem and you write your problem on Google in your language and obiously you couldnt find anything, so you type in emglish to hope to find something and you find this post, please contact me([email protected]) I can not help you and you can not help me but talking with other People Who has the same issue, can be a relieve for us. Because these People used their account like one year ago etc. I think we can not reach them.