What would you choose Career or Happiness?
How do you succeed in a career without personal support?
Obviously happiness..aren’t we all here to live a higher existence?
To put money or a mind controlling career path that you THINK you want over Happiness is just stupid.
Unless the career path is saving millions of living things or beings and the love is just wrong, Then I would say the opposite.
@manimal, Depends on your career though. There weren’t any specifics in the original post so we don’t know if the career is something they had passion for or something they just got stuck in that can result in more money for more slavery. But I do agree on not relying on other people for happiness.
@ojloredo, I broke up with my girl in college cuz it was taking up too much time. She was a bit too clingy tho. I’d rather focus on my shit and what I really want to do with my life than be lovey dovey for a couple years. You can love anyone and anything. But a significant other can also help. Depends on your situation really.
@manimal, Relying is stupid really, no one can argue about what every single person has to do for themselves. But you’ll still need to get inspiration from somewhere. Every man needs a woman, right? Or not in this context. I think happiness as a top priority is insanity. Just one person can’t be your whole world if they don’t want to share the possibilities (including the shitty ones) of the world with you. Then it will be really cool if you do break up.
@luigiblue, Why would I have a career that I didn’t like? I wouldn’t.
Why would I give up something I like for something I don’t like? I wouldn’t.
@beyond, But how does a relationship give more of that inspiration and other feminine qualities? It doesn’t. It’s just a pitfall. The song of the sirens.
The same scenario seems to take place over and over. Once I’m done with my tasks, when there is not much continuous action, that’s when the women enter my life. And I fall in their trap, life becomes a mess, I feel lost.
And as I’m drifting around, lost at sea, in a life raft… the business helicopter shows up to save me. But I think I’ve learned that lesson now, to not fall into that trap again.
Having a girlfriend is just a huge waste of time, energy, and resources. There’s nothing in it for me, and I don’t like being used.
Being duped and defeated is not something to strive for, guys who want girlfriends are deluded losers.
@briannabbycks, Exactly, there aren’t enough specifics in this post.
@ojloredo, Are you asking for advice on a specific problem you are facing? or are you asking for our opinion based on our own lives?
@manimal, I agree but like I said, there weren’t enough specifics in the original post. I don’t know if they were asking for advice on a problem they are facing or if they were asking for our opinions? Based on your replies you are assuming he is just asking us in relation to our own lives….in that case, yes you are correct and I agree.
@manimal, i agree that people who put everything on the backburner to strive for a significant other that they believe will make them happy are indeed deluded. on the other hand, it is cool when that right person comes along when you aren’t searching, and compliment your life and what you are choosing to do perfectly rather than hinder it.
@beyond, so you think trying to be happy above all else in your life is insanity? i was told once that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. even if that is incorrect i’m certain insanity is not defined as trying to put happiness above all else in one’s life. what sane person wouldn’t want to be happy?john lennon was asked at a young age what he wanted to be when he grew up, know what he said? not a musician, not a celebrity, he said “happy, i want to be happy when i grow up.” yeah that sounds fucking crazy. you’re right……dunce. unfortunately most of the people on this planet put so much in front of their happiness. money, job, wife, husband, lover, social status all these and then some just to make them appear happy, sometimes we think if we get this or that, this girl or that guy, this car or that job, whatever it is that will make me happy. the fact is happiness is a choice. choose happiness and so it shall be. choose to worry about things and so it shall be. if you can be truly happy, whether it is with another person in a relationship or not is irrelevant, if you can be truly happy…right here right now, what else is there to concern you? material possessions? love? money? what? if you can be happy as you are…that is freedom. be ok and happy with life on life’s terms whatever they may be, that’s not insane, its liberating.
@manimal, I agree with that. They are deluded losers. That’s why those guys who don’t want girlfriends are more capable of actually finding one that will suit them better, especially if it’s a woman who doesn’t need a man for the same reasons – their pitfall in the past – they both might be assholes to people so they found that in common – just an example. From my past personal experiences I’ve concluded the same thing, although I relied more on the inspiration and motivation rather than the ideology of a relationship, that’s why the ideology cannot last or needs maintenance, it needs that teamwork and not just satisfying someone else’s selfish needs a person happens to create from a moment of personal deluded research. I’m just thinking that a lot of people lack emotional intelligence to even achieve something like that. I don’t even know why people choose to be primitive instead of spontaneous. You can do anything if you’re crazy enough.
@briannabbycks, Career success takes dedication and time. This is severely crippled by having a distracting relationship.
@melissaurban1991, When does this ever happen? It only happens in the movies, it isn’t real.
Looking back at the relationships I’ve had, none of them brought anything of value into my life. Just a moment of stupidity and weakness, getting close with someone who at first seems really sweet, but soon turns into a vampire monkey on my back.
And let’s be real here… what’s in it for a man? Really? What does a man get out of having a girlfriend? I honestly can’t think of anything. He’s losing, she’s winning.
Don’t take that the wrong way, I’m not a misogynist, I applaud you for all the poor saps you have duped. That’s what women are supposed to do.
@beyond, I really don’t think there’s anyone that suits me. I don’t want a needy vampire, and I don’t want a compliant pet.
I think I understand what you mean when you talk about teamwork and all that jazz. More like reasonable and platonic structure, rather than bleeding heart idiocy, right?
More like a compadre, with which one also has sex and children. But other than that, nothing like a normal relationship/affair, amirite?
I think I’ll go with that path. Just gotta find a girl with decent brains.
The simple answer here is that happiness comes in different forms, some find happiness through others and relationships, thorough money or successful careers.
But why? Why do we feel that full feeling, thats my question.
Personally, I like having someone around, I could excel in any career, crappy or stellar and I would still want someone to come home to at night. A best friend that I love, not this feeling of falling into a trap and being helpless at his will. But we all have our morals and flaws. I believe it comes down to circumstance, happiness comes in all shapes in sizes :)
@manimal, happened to me, and my life is far from a movie. and it only happened when i stopped “duping poor saps”. but really i was the one getting duped..
my boyfriend and i complement each other wonderfully, he is everything i am not and vice versa. maybe that is incredibly rare and if so i am blessed to have found it i guess!
if you really believe men get nothing out of having a girlfriend then that is your perception. it seems as though you’ve been attracted to the wrong type of women in the past. maybe if you put out the energy you wished to receive from a women, you would attract the same.
Why can’t a career bring you happiness?
I myself am not much of a career person. But I’m not much of a relationship person either. I normally don’t connect with people and there’s only been one person so far I’ve felt close to, which didn’t include any feelings of love but more those of sheer fascination.
I’m in an open long distance relationship right now, and we haven’t seen each other in approximately 6 months now. We’re happy, it’s all going well. What I don’t understand though, is, that most people think that only being in a relationship can bring you true happiness.
I’m gonna have to disagree with that. Dedicating your life and concentrating your love on your significant other might be nice, though after a while you could get too attached. You practically put all your hope and your life in this one person’s hands. You’re making them responsible to make and keep you happy. Do you see what’s wrong with that?
True happiness can’t possibly come from something that’s outside of you. It’s not real. It’s something that they produce and then hand over to you, but you won’t be able to grab all of their love and hold on to it forever.
Happiness comes from within yourself, and only you. If you find this source, you’ll always be able to bring it back up once you need it. It’s like an endless burning candle. Then you can spread the light and everything you look at will appear in this light. You’re the one to make your life beautiful. not your family, not your friends, not the love of your life.
I prefer not being in a relationship, because after a while you start to adapt. You change who you are, subconsciously, to better fit the other person. Happiness that comes from the outside will make you lose yourself and forget who you are.
I guess I’d never end up in a situation where I’d have to choose between a relationship or a career. But if I did, then I would choose the career because it must be something I want. A goal that I’ve been wanting to reach. So why would I let someone hold me back, who in the end, might just make me feel miserable?
And by the way, not focusing your love on only one person but several things is way more productive and fulfilling. Love isn’t what you’ve been taught or seen in movies. It’s something way different than that. And so is happiness.
You shouldn’t be in a relationship that keeps you from pursuing your own personal aspirations. Even if your aspiration is to start a family, a family only works when everyone has their own identities that effortlessly work together. I think that sacrifice is only pure when you literally have no desire to pursue the alternative.
@manimal, Do men not benefit from companionship, spiritual connection, shared interests and experiences? I don’t see how relationships only benefit women. I think this is only true for your idea of a relationship
@mentalkink, I’ve had ordinary ones and messed up ones. Same same, but diffferent. Same issue applies though.
What the hell is in it for me? Nothing.
That “full” feeling is only temporary and deceptive. Why do we find different ways to achieve it? Well, it’s all about different beliefs. Different people believe different things will make them “arrive.” But the truth is, we never will arrive. We will always be hollow… embrace it, and you will never feel sad or incomplete again. That’s why I’m always happy.
You want someone to come home to? Well, you’re a woman, it’s biologically hard-wired because it’s an evolutionary advantage. If you have someone, you won’t be a sitting duck if you get pregnant, and there will be someone there to protect you and your offspring. It’s all in the reptile brain.
Romantic love is a delusion, it’s all just a glorification of primitive instinct.
Of course you haven’t fallen in the trap. You’re the siren, not the sailor.
@melissaurban1991, You have a boyfriend? Then you obviously haven’t stopped duping the poor sap.
Please tell me, what exactly is it you think a man gets out of a relationship. Would you please give some proper examples? A vague statement doesn’t really say much, I’m all ears.
The wrong type of women? Hmm, the only type of women I’ve been attracted to are… well, women. And girls. No specific type or anything.
Put out the same energy that I want back? No, that won’t work. I don’t want a woman who’s like me, not at all. What would be the point of that? Then I’d be better off gay.
Attraction doesn’t work like that, put two magnets against eachother with the same polarity and they will repel eachother. Flip one of them, and they attract instead.
I don’t want a relationship. It’s just a burden. I’d rather live in the moment, if I run into some lovely honeys I can roll with them for the time being. Nobody gets a burden, just good times.
A girlfriend/boyfriend is like a swiss army knife, all purpose cleaner, or a handyman… they have many uses but the performance is half-assed, they’re spread thin. And if you lose it you lose the whole thing.
Now, I have friends and family, I have companions, I have lovers, mentors and disciples, etc. A box full of tools, a janitor’s arsenal, a staff of specialists. High performance, and if I lose one of these I still have the rest.
Why would I trade them all for one thing, which is technically inferior?
People glorify and idealize their mates and then are disappointed when the delusion falls away. Love lasts as long as long as you keep the connection going. I think the only reason to commit to someone for the rest of your life is to have children with them. Other than that love is reflected back and forth between two people for as long as is natural for those two souls together
@melissaurban1991, How come you refuse to answer my questions?
This isn’t exactly validating your statements or your claimed open-mindedness. More like the opposite exactly.
Is this your definition of discussion? Then I implore you to reconsider.