I just want to say, briefly, that I’ve been reading the posts on this and other discussions and this forum just seems gentle and friendly and everyone seems quite mature and nice. Its weird to find a message board without an element of trolls and hating and crudeness. Its like a little sanctuary on the internet. Imagine a world where everybody was like this. People would be considerably happier- and more secure
As for the topic of discussion, when I first read the question my reaction was that I can’t think of any. I’m quite confident really, looks-wise, intellectually, socially. I tend to think I’m quite good at things or could learn them. I was a shy kid and wasn’t very confident but I think I just became more confident as I grew up and developed. I know I have great parents. I’ll have to give it more thought. I suppose I have one or two sexual insecurities, and maybe there are some other things. Don’t get me wrong, I have problems. I think I could give anyone here a run for their money in the problems department lol (you have to be able to laugh) but I don’t think they’re very insecurity based.
Here are the insecurities that hold me back …
– when I really start to like a girl. I emphasize on the little things that i dont like and then I fly away from them like a butterfly .And butterflies are free to fly. fly away .. its because im afraid that if we have a child that it would turn into dysfunctional family hell…
-excessive back hair
-and for a dude i think got really large nipples like bigger than a quarter but not as big as a silver dollar..
-foreskin is definitely one of them,once in a while a girl will give me this look when they first meet it like they didnt know it was there before but thats just cause we was always in the dark..
Whoever reads this and doesn’t share sucks big donkey balls..It will free your spirit
Hm…. Body hair. In various places.
My weight, lots of issues there.
Of course, self-esteem is entwined with that.
I’m excessively lonely and I, more often than not, feel misunderstood and apathetic towards people.
But I’m working on it. :)
Your blunt honesty is much appreciated! I like your analogy of the butterfly! Insecurites are worthless and usually only pertain to us in our minds. And yes they only hold us back from living a fulfilling life! I try to let mine fly away as well. They serve us no good purpose. And infact the thing that got to me the most about my recent relationship was his insecurites that kept getting in the way and it wasnt even ligit physical insecurities. More so I guess just never felt like he himself was enough. so his insecurities led to unecessary arguments, jealousy, ect.
While I can speak on this I havent yet been able to take my own advice? cause my insecurities keep me from stepping out into the dating world. Fear of rejection, also feel what I’m looking for isnt so easy to run across. I live in the midwest, not too many open minded ppl here!
-scars that look like acnce on my back from those hairs that just couldnt make it out.
-being physical/getting close to people. I dont like being touched.
-I have days where i think and act very differently and cant explain why to people.
-pants never fit me right. i think i have wide hips or thick thighs or something.
-bad shoulder injury that makes me feel really weak.
Everyone has insecurities… both physical and emotional, but FUCK em… What dwells on me is fear… I fear, as well as @kathryn does, that WHO I am looking for is not so easy to find. I fear that I will not be able to find a soul mate who is capable of loving me as much as I want to love them. To me, love is the most important “thing” in life, and finding the most pure and satisfying love seems like it could take more than this lifetime of mine….. So I guess you could say my insecurity is love
i’m very anti-social and when i do get around people i’m afraid i’ll be too “honest” and hurt peoples feelings without knowing it
i have ugly feet, with big ugly bunions that can only be removed with surgery. I’m scared to get pedicures because of it.
This is a great discussion, its nice to be able to let it out and not be judged.
-I feel like everyone is always talking bad behind my back, I have no idea why.
-I get super nervous around girls and when I like a girl I always push them away, kind of like the butterfly lol.
And I can’t think of anymore atm
This IS a great topic haha it’s so neat to see people being so open about this sort of thing.
Hmmm where to start..
– My weight/appearance. What girl doesn’t struggle with this? I’ve always been very thin and used to constantly get skinny jokes/quips about eating disorders and shit like that. Not cool. =| So, I’ve always felt very uncomfortable in my own skin.
– As some stated above me, body hair. Bleh. I know we’re mammals but jeez some girls are so smooth and soft and I feel abnormally hairy lol.
Plus plenty of other appearance related issues that I won’t bother to get into.
– I have always felt like I’m very different from most people. It used to bother me that I’m “weird” but now I embrace it. However, sometimes (most of the time?), I feel like I can’t relate to people, and sometimes I slip into stages where I feel like I have absolutely no idea what to talk to people about.
– I’m horrible at math and it makes me feel really stupid. Actually, I feel kinda stupid a lot of the time anyway. I know I’m not, but I’m not really smart or educated either. But at least I have common sense!
– I feel like I have no talents and everyone is good at something, or numerous things, except for me. Both of my parents are pretty smart and talented, know how to make and fix all sorts of stuff, draw well, etc and I’m honestly not really good at anything, so that makes me feel like I fail at life sometimes.
– When it comes to relationships, I’m insecure in many ways. I’m always worried about other girls coming along because that has always happened to me. I find it hard to share certain aspects of myself with my significant others (like things I write, or some of my deepest thoughts/fears). Also, I’m not very experienced sexually and don’t watch porn so I don’t have confidence in that area. Plus, because of my body image issues, it takes a lot for me to feel comfortable with someone. I’ve only willingly let one guy see me naked and as it turned out, I guess he preferred porn, so that didn’t help my self esteem issues hah.
– I’m clumsy and wish I was graceful lol.
– Scared to sing in front of people! Really trying to overcome that, though, because I love singing and have been told I have a nice voice.
I could probably think of more but I’ll leave it at that.
And Seth: Like Thomas said, it’s a waste of time, really. Totally overrated. Every once in a while partying is fun but taking care of your body and advancing past the teenage LET’S GET FUUUUCKED UPPPP 24/7 mentality is better. =D
Egle, I think that you definitly don’t have a weight problem, and i’m tottaly with you on the aloneness. Something you can do to help your aloneness is when your out and about doin your daily thing, Radiate with happiness towards all
If you see someone who is down lift them up.
And when you are down someone will lift you up.
And if you are down and nobody lift’s you up…
You Lift someone up and that will bring you up too
Kathryn, I stole the butterfly thing from elton john.
What you said about your recent guy rang a bell of familiarity with me. I have tottaly done that before, and I call that the downward insecurity spiral which leads to aloneness.
I know when a man shows his insecurities its a big turn off for a woman, but to really be close to someone you got to be talking about everything together.everything.. we hold back and it causes us issues later, we all sweep shit under the carpet.its harmful to us
Mario, you’re totally right about that last bit. Communication, about every little thing, is sooo important.
And maybe I’m weird but I actually kinda like it when a dude shows his insecurities? I think it’s cute. My most recent ex was (is) pretty insecure and I was always patient with him over it but he ended up getting so angry with me over my insecurities. Maybe I just have too many of them but I always thought if you really love someone you try to help them overcome their insecurities and are patient when it comes to those matters. I always have been patient when it came to that, at least.
Its easy to talk on here but we have to apply this to the outside world with everyone we encounter, and the closer you are to someone the more difficult it is but if they really care about you they will accept you for you. I think Thats what we all want acceptance..
I love you people. I feel like I could relate to all of you.
Alright. So yeah, body hair definitely. I am OBSESSED with improving my looks. I kind of like my weight right now considering I’m 20 pounds lighter than I was a year ago because I switched my birth control but I could stand to lose a little more.
What’s more of an issue is the natural amount of hair I produce as my father is hairy like a sasquatch. Men can be as hairy as they like by the way, I find that Latin type of masculine trait very sexy on men. Not so on me! I shave nearly every part of my body as soon as it wont leave a shave burn except if I can wax or Nair it off easily if it’s too sensitive. I always tend to stare at these smooth skinned practically hairless blondes and because it’s such an effort to keep myself groomed, I think I am both envious and quite attracted to them in a, “I want your body, like REALLY want it.” way.
That’s another thing. I consider myself mostly straight but I have a deep admiration for the female body. When I was younger, I would stare a lot more but I kept getting caught lol.
Also, my skin is not as nice. It isn’t nearly as bad as it was and I have no scars but it is unevenly toned. As a result, I always keep my hair down.
And mentally my biggest insecurity is the level of enthusiasm I display here, in my classrooms, and in making new friends. SUPER enthusiastic to where I always seem a bit socially off. I really have to be conscious of myself all the time in order to appear severely more apathetic than I actually am. Unrestrained, I would be posting on nearly EVERY topic in this forum.
Lol Mario! =D Thanks, yeah, he is. Haha.
Ashleigh – Oooh yeah definitely feel you on the skin thing. I used to have perfect skin when I was younger and now it’s never perfectly clear. And as soon as it’s almost all cleared up, BOOM, time to start period again and I break out all over again. XD And then I’m like ugh why do I have pink hair, people are always looking at me and my face looks like craaap. Lol.
I’ve also always admired the female body. It took me a while to realize I’m actually quite attracted to females lol when I was younger I was always looking at them too but I thought it was just a ‘man I wish I looked like her’ thing. Now that I’m older, I realize I’m way more attracted to women than men, but I have yet to meet one I feel a romantic connection with.
Lols girls are WAY too pretty not to look at. From what I can see, you look very beautiful. :D
But I’m similar. I had a sexual encounter with my best friend and it felt awkward. I guess it’s because she was almost like a sister to me because we were best friends for like six years but it also could be because I’m not truly attracted to girls…though boobs are super fun to play with. It’s like, girls make such an effort to be beautiful and I see this and it blows me away sometimes. More than wanting to have sex with a girl, I just want to touch her, stare at her, and explore with my mouth a bit. Lols, sounds super sexual I know but girls look delicious. It’s that more than sexual attraction because I feel that primal drive much more with men. Yeah, I know. I’m totally weird. I just figured I’d TMI mercilessly and see what happens.
Hehehe doesn’t bother me. Women are beautiful. <3
Yeah, I can see it being a bit awkward if she was your best friend.
I've only done sexual things with four people, one of which was female, and I would say it was most enjoyable with her, but I need an emotional connection for it to really be enjoyable for me and I really only had that with my ex (the asshole one, Mario, ahaha). But before I experienced intimacy with someone I loved, it was best with the girl lol. It's just difficult for me to meet people I have romantic feelings for. I'm sure it could happen with a girl, just hasn't yet.
Hey ashleigh, I used to work in a pizza shop and i really liked this girl marybeth and and the first time I saw her with a tan, well it really brought her freckles out and I was totally lovin it but when I told her I like your frecks, She was highly pissed, but I liked them cause it brought out the irish in her.
@ Mario – Ugh. Not even cool of her. I really don’t want to end up thinking this and I like knowing that the majority of all girls are most likely humble with their looks and accept compliments graciously but goddamn there are some girls who are just stuck up and unappreciative. Sorry she sucked. :(
@ Laura – Totally glad you had a great experience with a girl. During mine I was dominant and I don’t like that so much because I feel a lot of pressure to be feminine and passive but I’m just naturally dominant I suppose even with men. It’s just that with a girl, being dominant makes me feel waay too much like a guy and therefore not attractive since I’m supposed to be a girl. Also, I am very insecure about my own body so I feel it is not worthy of being worshiped the same way I would do that to someone else even though my boyfriend helps me think otherwise sometimes. He helps a lot.
So I suppose since I am so insecure with other women, I can never really let my hair down and enjoy it. I’m too busy trying to look pretty and do things right at the same time haha.
Laura, Ive been with a few girls who also like girls, and thats something that makes me a little insecure too, but it keeps me on my toes cause if i cant please her she might look elsewhere and thats good motivation. And girls like girls cause they know how to touch each other right.
Sometime’s I end up with a girl with a tounge ring (dont be offended if you have one)but they never know how to use them, and Then I think that a gay dude with a tounge ring would probably do a much better job, just cause he knows his way around a mans body, but I have never been curious enough to find out
just jumping in here,
deepest insecurity? I”m just really self-conscious about the things I say. If life’s a stage, I stumble over my lines far too often for my liking…
But I think we give our ideas of perfection far too much hype. There are neither disney princesses nor princes (that I’ve honestly seen in real life). Does our concept of perfection come from all this advertising? If so, why do the mass of peoples allow themselves to be told that they are not good enough unless we buy whatever those bastards are selling?