Your deepest Insecurities?

mario (@mario82) 11 years, 2 months ago

I just want to say, briefly, that I’ve been reading the posts on this and other discussions and this forum just seems gentle and friendly and everyone seems quite mature and nice. Its weird to find a message board without an element of trolls and hating and crudeness. Its like a little sanctuary on the internet. Imagine a world where everybody was like this. People would be considerably happier- and more secure :-P

As for the topic of discussion, when I first read the question my reaction was that I can’t think of any. I’m quite confident really, looks-wise, intellectually, socially. I tend to think I’m quite good at things or could learn them. I was a shy kid and wasn’t very confident but I think I just became more confident as I grew up and developed. I know I have great parents. I’ll have to give it more thought. I suppose I have one or two sexual insecurities, and maybe there are some other things. Don’t get me wrong, I have problems. I think I could give anyone here a run for their money in the problems department lol (you have to be able to laugh) but I don’t think they’re very insecurity based.


March 25, 2011 at 5:18 am
Jordan B. (1) (@synchestra) 11 years, 2 months ago ago


I also have trouble staying interested in something long enough to finish it. I feel like I want to be a lot more creative than I allow myself to actively express. For example, I tried taking a couple of creative writing classes and never really enjoyed it or put forth the kind of effort I thought I would.

Adam (0) (@artful) 11 years, 2 months ago ago

As an overall addition:

It troubles me that so many women find small breasts an insecurity, as a guy, I love all sizes of breasts. I’ve been with women that have had AA to DD and honestly, I don’t have a preference. It is really all about the girl, that is what matters.

Dan (890) (@danfontaine) 11 years, 2 months ago ago

@Ashleigh – Thanks for replying :) Why am I insecure about my ego and lack of empathy? Well perhaps my intelligence exceeds my maturity (I’m going on 20). Because of this I can observe how I am acting and will to change it, but am still struggling with the actual change.
I unknowingly let my personality defects run wild the first 18 years of my life. No one ever really confronted me about my personality traits. Plus I attended a private school where all of my peers would just accept my behavior even if they didn’t like me. I was rarely made fun of and never found myself in a real fight, although if my memory serves me correctly I was a pretty atrocious child/teen who probably deserved to get his ass kicked at times. I also was raised by a single mother – that didn’t help. So there was never anyone to really “put me in my place” so to say. That, plus the positive attention I got from my probably-overly supportive mother and teachers in regards to my talents made my environment growing up a breeding grounds for a massive ego. This is all my best guess, anyway.
Things got real bad in my first serious relationship at age 17. I ended up back handing the girl because I was convinced she was cheating on me with at least 2 others. When one’s ego has swelled it blots out rationality and ability to love, I’d have to say.
However, I have recently become an introspective person who constantly dwells over his faults. I’d probably have to largely accredit my very patient and understanding girlfriend of 2 years for my shift of consciousness. She began the healing process with her love. I continue it by learning what I can about human thought. And by forcing myself to feel the love I have for people, the love has always been there. I suppose my brain will take some time at creating the neural connections I need to abolish my ego and feel more loving and empathetic. I notice progress frequently. :)

mario (12) (@mario82) 11 years, 2 months ago ago

hi Dan, I don’t exactly know what an ego is can you tell me what you mean by ego?

Seth (3) (@seth) 11 years, 2 months ago ago

Haha mario your ego, extremely simplified, is the thing that feels insecure and causes you to care about them

Dan (890) (@danfontaine) 11 years, 2 months ago ago

The little man in your head with the crooked self-centered agendas

Dan (890) (@danfontaine) 11 years, 2 months ago ago

Well, technically everyone has the psychological definition of an ego. It’s just the part of your brain that reacts to your needs and responds to the environment. The popular definition though is more of like what happens to the personality when that part of your brain becomes unbalanced.

brenda candelario (0) (@brenz13) 11 years, 2 months ago ago

My insecurity is those stretch-marks on my legs, i got it when i’m on a varsity training in school… Before I am too shy to wear shorts because of those stretch marks, but now i already overcome it…:)

Bobby Whoever (57) (@bobbyalone) 11 years, 2 months ago ago

Expressing myself.

Alex Eastman (71) (@alex) 11 years, 2 months ago ago

I always feel like the outsider among my friends.
I’m very insecure in large groups of people. Partly because I’m a little claustrophobic and partly because people scare me, lol.
I’m a little afraid that my life will amount to nothing worthwhile and I will be left out of history.
I’m a little insecure, (mostly inexperienced/bad expericences) around girls. Classic teenage angst right? haha.
Here are several of mine. :b

Alexandra (0) (@dementisamor) 11 years, 1 month ago ago

I’m amazed so many people have replied on this thread. Kudo’s to all. xD

My boyfriend and I had a discussion about our flaws just yesterday, and he made some excellent points – things I hadn’t realized about myself.

He mentioned yesterday (and this is what I hadn’t realized) that I can’t feel entitled to anything, even if I deserve or need it. I generally put people before myself; figure that stems from insecurities relating to my personality, in general. I realize that in a lot of cases, it’s an admirable trait, but often it can go too far.

I’m terrified of confrontations, particularly with people I respect. If I don’t like the person, there’s no issue. I’m a people pleaser, so I’ll usually try to ajust to the situation, despite having very strong opinions.

To sum it up: I’m insecure about myself (personality, physical appearance isn’t an issue), and where I stand in relationships. In other words, a minor inferiority complex – made worse by the fact that I’m naturally a very submissive person. I’m terrified that whoever it is I’m with will get bored, although I have no reason to suspect that’ll be the case.

Self-analysis FTL.

mario (12) (@mario82) 11 years, 1 month ago ago

Alexandra, i think we can all relate to that.the fact that you put other people first means your a caring person, and its not selfish to think of yourself. its important. Care about yourself first so you can be in good shape to deal, and help with others..

P (0) (@sconjaguar) 11 years, 1 month ago ago

all of my insecurities can be traced back to when i was around the age of 6 or 7, i cant remember. you know how young kids are gullible to pretty much anything? this one kid i used to hang out with showed me porn, and said “this looks fun, lets do this”. it happened several times, quit a lot i think, yet again i cant remember. it didnt just happen with him, it spread. a few neighbors down my street got involved in it too. like what they said in Mystic River, its like vampires. i had no idea what it was we were doing, just that it was something to do. i blame myself to this day for spreading it farther than it should have. everyone involved were no older than 2 years maximum, which makes it even worse to know that a couple children were this.

it never hit me until i was in 8th grade i think. i told my best friend about it a year later, and so far ive told more than i shouldve.

i have somewhat of a porn and sex addiction because of it, which makes me feel disgusting and perverted. i show myself off on the internet because i feel enjoyment out of someone else being a part of it, which, again, makes me feel terrible and selfhating. i treat everyone i know and meet beyond kindness so i can make myself feel better about everything that has happened. but even still, i feel like none of it matters, all because i allowed all of that sickness to happen.

mario (12) (@mario82) 11 years, 1 month ago ago

Alot of all our problems can be traced back to that age Sean. It’s good that you can be open about it.
I Think alot of us are addicted to porn,and at times i have enjoyed much porn including bukkake,and some freaky transvestite shit.But lately i been lonely as hell so I’m really trying to get laid.and when i say laid thats man talk for i want someone to hold on too while im sleeping. I quit pleasuring myself to porn,i still watch it but only lesbians so i can learn good techniques. are you single? when was your last relationship?..If your single suggest you try that. get laid its way better than porn.

Some of you guyz dont like me pickin at your problems, but i dont care i want all us to free our minds of our deep troubles.participate.. pick our problems apart… thats what true friendship and love is.

mitch (18) (@mitch) 11 years, 1 month ago ago

I’m embarrassed to be human I guess. About all of the thoughts I have.. believing even sometimes that people do notice, see and feel and know everything you are thinking, and it feels shameful. Actually saying it hurts cause I shouldn’t be like that.. i’m ashamed to be ashamed, lol. It’s the way it is for now though.

i find myself not acknowledging people with hellos.. I hate it but not sure how to change it for it to be smooth, consistent and inclusive.
i don’t like small talk, but I really do love people. makes it very difficult to try to find the medium between being truly myself, making sure I don’t exclude anyone, and being accepted. I’m never really sure what to talk about, but I’m quite open to and quite happy to listen/talk about absolutely anything [THE OTHER PERSON] wishes to. I just don’t always have something of value to add; sometimes I think I might and I get scared the other person doesn’t want to hear it, or it’s too much, or not enough. With people I’m comfortable with, I can have pleasant conversations for sure, definitely fulfilling things, but it’s not constant and not always consistent, and it really bugs me that it makes the other person not wanna be around me.

mitch (18) (@mitch) 11 years, 1 month ago ago

a lot of you explained a lot of my insecurities pretty well too..

praneeth de silva (0) (@desilvap) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

lets drag this one out of the closet…….

first of all ….big fan of all all the ideas, philosophies, and everyone natural tendencies to be ethical while tackling the bigger issues.
so lets get the intro out of the way, praneeth here (soul searcher,skeptic,hopeful romantic): yess of course Jordan saved my life haha
I am a junky when it comes to HE, mainly because everyone is on the same wavelength as me. I would spend my day thinking about something, only to come online and see someone bring that up, and then have three people say what I was going nuts about.
Insecurities you say? well since everyone was so brave n honest in there posts, I saw my self loosing sleep if I didn’t. I also realized that not posting was also one of my insecurities hahaa ohh the iornyy!!!

my biggert insecurity stems from ability to cope with VULNERABILITIES
this pretty much has spread like a cancer, and ruined my current state of being.
coming of age made me get over any physical insecurities: now that I have a better idea of the bigger picture, i see our physical selves merely as avatars aiding us in this epic conquest.
However the vulnerability is killing me in the interpersonal aspects of my life.
I can’t seem to trigger relationships, maintain, and LOVE.
The this is , sadly this is where I get all my passion from too, it really is true that your biggest weakness is the source of your super powers.
i mean there are like a million particulars, but I’ve managed to find this as the mother of all insecurities.
And this probably extends to many of you here as well. You guys are fucking heroes for doing this. also soo glad to avoid the horse balls toooo

ill be present more often, hahaha im great at going overboard with things
sorry for being soo long, but i think im allowed since its my first hahahha

thankss everyone

Skye (1,627) (@skye) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

Insecurities used to hole me back a TON! I think when I got into middle school I realized that everybody has them and it’s impossible to just make them fade away, so nowadays I just flaunt them!
Top 3
-Being to emotionally tied with someone
-Being naked
-Being laughed at :P

alive (7) (@alive) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

-i have a big ass. ’nuff said.
-i’m constantly asked if i’m mixed, middle eastern or something like that because of my hair and eye shape. it makes me feel weird and foreign. i’m slovenian…but that’s pretty much italian.
-i have long hands and i feel like they’re super manly
-i’m monosyllabic when it comes to meeting new people in person which makes developing relationships kind of awkward.. :/
there are probably more.

Anonymous (2,654) (@) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

@Ren Pics or didn’t happen. Also, Ren sounds like a guy’s name.

I can’t find any deep insecurities.. they must be on the bottom of the deepness. Actually, I am so simple that I don’t even need insecurities. It’s ironic that simplicity seems like such a mystery. Oh, right. My deepest insecurity is that I’m insane, which to me is a complete sanity but I am actually questioning it.

Alex Eastman (71) (@alex) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

-I need to lose about 10 pounds, or at least I think so. I hide it well though.
-Muscle tone. Working on that though. Need a personal gym though.
-Feel like I don’t relate well with people my own age, but then again, my generation generally sucks ass. lol
-I can’t talk in front of large groups without my face getting red. Even if I am calm when I go up there, I will eventually turn red, then my confidence fades after that.

BirdFlyingHigh (152) (@birdflyinghigh) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

An insecurity that’s been on my mind lately has to do with my sex life and how I approach partners. Insecurities about being forced to defend and be upfront about sexual interests; I can be a bit shady sometimes without thinking about it and that makes me feel a little insecure. Like, I love exploring intimacy with people, and especially if I feel that spark with someone I am fairly trusting about exploring it and have no problem pursuing it pretty quickly. However, at the same time I have a natural sensitivity about my hookups being known about, and get worried about people (especially guys) losing respect for me if I go “too fast”.

My willingness and enthusiasm to explore intimacy and sex with people butts up against this shyness, and I have to be careful about not acting too ashamed of my own self and interests (while of course still being discreet). I always fight down this insecurity and remember that my life and my adventures are my own to choose. I just have to fight down that sense of shame that is sometimes irrational.

I also get insecure about commenting on facebook photos. It reminds me of listening to a recording of my voice – seeing my words later all written out makes me cringe most of the time. I definitely have anxiety on facebook.

Anonymous (2,654) (@) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

@BirdFlyingHigh You just confessed with content your insecurities in public. Now I don’t trust you.

BirdFlyingHigh (152) (@birdflyinghigh) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

What do you mean?

BirdFlyingHigh (152) (@birdflyinghigh) 10 years, 4 months ago ago

I had merely posted under the assumption this was a safe space, considering others had shared sensitive insecurities and I didn’t want to read without contributing.

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